Teach me how to be properly angry

-

 There are emotions that I was not taught well enough to express

 A space was never created for me to accept expressing them.

And one of them is anger 

I get angry 

but only behind closed doors 

And I don't even know how to be properly angry

To explode in anger, 

Fuming, shouting, banging things how do people do this,

 I get silent when angry and just avoid my aggressor

And it's not that I yearn to be uncouth

But I just want to express outwardly the wreck that is inside

Because maybe then the level of hurt, that I feel would be understood by this aggressor. 

Am I always trying to justify if I should be angry 

When it's not even my fault that I am

Watch out, the next time you trigger me, I will explode 

And angry lava will trickle down, 

Watch out lest you get scathed

Pooofff💣💣💥

Comments

  1. AnonymousJuly 14, 2025 at 4:29 AM

    But then you made it sound funny at the end. It is actually touching

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You’ve been brave before; you only need enough courage for today - Nneka

-
Image
This post has been inspired by Nneka Julia from Substack. Her work is incredibly amazing, and the level of skill she pours into each of her posts is worth admiring. You’ve been brave before; you only need courage for today. I saw the thumbnail of this post first thing on Thursday morning last week. That day, I had a class presentation and also a call, and I was super nervous about both, especially the latter. Funny enough, it’s not like it was my first time doing either of those things. I’ve done them before, even when the stakes were higher. It’s strange how courage doesn’t carry over. You’d think once you’ve done something brave, you’d be set for life. It’s like every day, I have to muster up the courage all over again just to do the things I’ve already done. Lately, I’ve been deliberately putting myself in those uncomfortable situations, like having to engage in conversations with people I don’t know, trying to sound calm and collected while my nerves are doing jumping jacks. And y...
Read more

I like beautiful men...

-
Image
  On the morning of my birthday, I wanted to start it with God, so I got up early and was ready for church. But the city’s train wasn’t working, and I had to take two buses to church. I hate to admit this, but I am directionally challenged. Reading Google Maps is a hustle for me. This caught up with me even on this day; it seems some things never change, even with age. I got on the right first bus, but for the second one,  wrong bus. Still wanting to go to the service, I saw I could take a train, but yep, I still paid and entered through the wrong subway door. Don’t ask me how this happens. Anything and everything is possible when it comes to me and directions. I was angry at myself.  How can you just not read simple things?  So I walked out of that dark alley leading to the subway, onto the streets, and sat on a bench sulking.  No church for me today, I resolved. What was the point when I was already so late and livid? I said,  I’m gonna do what I’ve been ...
Read more

Do you really want to be a mother?

-
I think it is a jarring moment where we realize that our mothers are distinct human beings on their own. They are not just our mothers whose lives revolve around taking care of us. They have dreams and desires of their own. As they make flaws in life, choices, they are experiencing life for the first time, just like us. I have always been close to my mother. A tight closeness, that did begin when I was aware of the world. She's shared her heart with me most times and through that, I have always seen her as a friend. So, after form four, I can remember how much I tagged along everywhere she went. I skipped church youth meetings to walk home with her and listen to the same stories/gossip she told me but forgot she did. (pro-tip: just listen as if it is the first time)  My mum is strong and I appreciate her level of patience because I am stubborn-headed,  sulky  and I cry every day at the slightest inconvenience. Going shopping with my mum meant, refusing every thing that sh...
Read more